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I went with my elderly mother
to visit her doctor.
She was intimidated by the technical language
he used to describe her condition.
She didn’t understand.
She didn’t say a word.
She wouldn’t be able to follow his
instructions, or understand what ailment afflicted
her. |
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My
daughter called from college.
“Mom, I don’t understand my professor.
I go to class.
I read the assignments.
I don’t get what he’s talking about. I am
going to fail the exam.
I should drop out of his class.” |
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Whoa!
Hold the phone!
What stopped these individuals from asking for
what they needed?
Have you been in situations where you are
confused, unclear, misunderstanding the communication
or being misunderstood?
Do you speak up for yourself?
What silences your voice?
Is it fear of sounding stupid? Are you
intimidated by another person?
Do you think you have it wrong and assume the
other person is right?
How does staying silent improve the situation?
As a coach, I enjoy watching clients discover
their voices. |
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I
can assure you: You have a voice and your voice is
important! If you have trouble speaking up, here is a
process to build your confidence. Breaking down the
mental steps helps you identify what stops you from
speaking up. |
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Ask
yourself, “What’s in my way of speaking up?
What am I afraid of?”
When you identify what is blocking you, you can
choose how to move forward.
The fight
is easier when you recognize the enemy.
In my mom’s case, she knew the doctor was
informed and well educated and, as such, deserved her
respect. Respect for his position made her afraid to
question his authority.
She assumed this was the way he must speak to
her. First
of all, never assume. |
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Next,
consider if your fear is real or one you are making
up. If it
is imagined , what are you making up?
Mom’s fear was partly real and partly a
perception she invented.
The doctor is a well educated professional with
authority to speak to a variety of health issues. He
deserves respect.
However, fear doesn’t serve either him or his
patients. Mom confused fear and respect.
She did not have to be silent or listen to
confusing technical lingo. |
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Once you recognize what’s
stopping you, weigh your options for confronting the
fear or blockage.
Ask yourself, “What if I speak up? What’s
the good that can come of my speaking up?
What’s the bad?” Compare good against bad.
My daughter’s class difficulties provide a
great example. She
asked herself,
“What if
I talk
to my professor? |
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He could offer
me a
tutor, extra
help outside
of class,
an option
for extra credit, an extension to catch up in my
work, etc. The worst
he can tell me is there is nothing he can do.
Then I’ll be no worse off than I am now.
What if I don’t say anything to my professor?
I stay in the struggle and fail the course.
Which offers me greater possibility?”
More than one possibility creates choice.
It became obvious to her to choose the option
with the most positive potential reward. She scheduled
an appointment
with the instructor, got the help she hoped for and
passed the course!
When you compare what you can gain by speaking
up to what you might loose, and gains outweigh losses,
you will quickly realize the benefits of speaking up.
It empowers you. It
makes it easier next time and even easier the time
after that. |
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Election
time is approaching.
Candidates know the value of each voice in
their constituency.
They pay big money to get your voice to support
them. Wow!
Knowing that my voice is worth thousands of dollars of
someone else’s money is confirmation that it is
important! Don’t
let fear, assumptions or vivid imagination keep you
from speaking up for what you need and want in your
life. If you don’t speak up for you, rarely will
anyone else. I
was with Mom in the clinic that day. I needed the
doctor to explain so we both could understand.
My daughter learned that asking for help and
being upfront about her struggle is a valuable tool
for success. Are
you not speaking up for something that could make a
difference in your life? What’s keeping you from
expressing yourself? What choices will speaking up
offer? I challenge you this month to speak up for
yourself. Vote
too. It’s
a powerful use of your voice and an American privilege |
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It’s
nice chatting with you.
I always enjoy hearing how Life Notes’ coaching tips help my
readers. Share
your thoughts and
successes www.lifesongcoaching.com |
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If you are interested in learning about life coaching
and discovering a more compelling life, call me at
218-327-2691 or visit the website. We’ll make a
plan! |
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