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In our busy lives we
often forget or hold back recognizing the people
around us. The
dictionary defines compliment as an
expression of praise, admiration or congratulation.
“That color is beautiful on you.” “Man, that’s
an amazing new vehicle!” “Great job!” are
compliments. They give praise and tell someone that
you admire how she looks, what he owns, or what she
has done. We
all like to be praised and admired.
Compliments allow us to feel special; like we
made a good choice; or did something well and someone
noticed. Remember when you were a kid and earned an
“A” or did your chores on time? Your dad said,
“Good job.” You
felt on top of the world.
Dad felt good too because he saw that it
brightened you up.
Compliments make both giver and receiver feel
good. The
receiver feels noticed.
The giver feels that noticing was worth his/her
effort. It’s
an inexpensive way to make someone feel special. |
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Why don’t we
give compliments more often?
What stops you from passing on a word of praise
occasionally? Maybe you think compliments but forget
to say them. Maybe
you feel you don’t know how; or you don’t give
them because you have a hard time accepting them.
Maybe the person will think it’s dumb that
you admire her. NOT!
Not to all of the above. There is no good
excuse, and holding back is just that: an excuse.
If you see it and like it, praise it.
Experiment one word at a time:
“Cool.”
“Pretty.”
“Awesome.”
“Impressive.”
Grow from there, one statement at a time. |
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Some people are too
humble or even embarrassed to receive a compliment.
A friend’s grandmother suggested treating a
compliment as a gift. You wouldn’t say, “Oh, no. I
don’t want your gift. It embarrasses me.”
That would make the giver feel rotten.
It is kind of the person to notice and to give
the compliment. Your
reply can be as simple as saying “thank you.”
You will make the giver feel good too. |
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A similar valuable skill
is acknowledgement. This
has really
become a lost art in our culture! Have
you ever caught yourself saying, “He just doesn’t
get me!” “I
hate working here. The boss doesn’t value what I
do.” “I wish mom would listen to what I’m
saying.” You want to be recognized for who you are
and what you believe. Acknowledging a person for who
he is, the value he holds, the message she carries is
a powerful tool to make him/her feel known and worthy.
Acknowledgement creates an eagerness for the person to
step up to greater accomplishments. |
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Acknowledgement
requires knowing something about a person and what he
stands for in life.
It recognizes your knowing of the person.
We all like being known.
It is human.
We were created to be social, interactive
beings. We
crave being known and understood by others.
When an employer, a teacher, a parent takes
time to know what you value and says, “You are
committed to doing a good job.” or “You are a
thoughtful, compassionate person.” or “I
understand that you value teamwork.” you feel
validated. You
feel like they understand where you are coming from;
what you believe in, and stand for.
Acknowledgement takes deeper knowing than a
compliment. It
is more than praise. It is not an opinion. It is
recognition of who you are. |
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As a life coach, I help
clients discover what is important to them and what
values they hold.
When they demonstrate these values in their
work and personal lives, I acknowledge them.
They feel good for being who they are.
When we show up in life authentically, standing
tall for what we believe, we are at our best. Being
acknowledged for that by people around us inspires us
to seek even higher ground and greater goals. |
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Who can you inspire
today? Take
a small step and pay someone a compliment. Take a
bigger step and acknowledge someone you live or work
with. You
will be amazed at the results! |
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It’s nice chatting with
you. I’ll
be back in the paper next month, but if you’d like
to learn more about life coaching or talk about where
you are stuck in your life, visit my website at www.lifesongcoaching.com.
or give me a call at 218-327-2691. We’ll make a
plan! |
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.pdf
version of this article |
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| More Life
Notes on the reading page! |
Life
Notes
articles may be reproduced when
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information are included.
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